Humor

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Planning & Budgeting Humor

Note: This page is the lighter side of Planning & Budgeting. Take a break and read/tell a joke or a story. Just keep it clean.


A fool with a tool is still a fool.


Risk does not matter until it does.


“Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice. “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.” “I don’t really know,” replied Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the cat. – From Alice and Wonderland


Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will also take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.


I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.


Be a leader: Remember the lead sled dog is the only one with a decent view.


When you throw dirt, you lose ground. ~Texan Proverb


To know the road ahead, ask those coming back. ~Chinese Proverb


A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure. ~Lee Segall


If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.


Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk. ~Joaquin de Setanti


Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop. ~Lewis Carrol, //Alice in Wonderland//


  • We measure with a micrometer;
  • We mark with chalk;
  • We cut with an axe.

    • The lost balloonist**

Descending from a dense cloud bank, a lost balloonist spied a bystander on the ground and asked, “I am lost; can you tell me where I am?” The bystander replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 100 feet off the ground.” The balloonist shouted back, “You must be a government accountant.” The astonished bystander said, “Why yes, how did you know?” The balloonist replied, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to me.”


If you can move it, can you budge-it.